Aaaaaand…here I go!

Aaaaaand you may think it’s a bit tragic that I’m starting the very first blog post of my new copywriting business with a grammatical error! Elongating the first word of an article for (admittedly miniscule) comic effect is bad enough but you must never start a sentence with ‘and’, ‘but’, ‘so’ or any other conjunction – right? Hmm…it turns out that, like a lot of the things we’re told in our formative years, it ain’t necessarily so. So, when is it OK to start a sentence with a conjunction? Well, far from being a hard-and-fast rule, this turns out to be nothing more than a convention – and not even a popular one at that (not so much comic-con as a bunch of people in damp fur at the end of Clacton Pier in the off-season…which reminds me, I’ll do a piece on the English Language’s unnerving habit of making one word serve multiple, entirely different purposes later).

And what is the point that I’m hoping to make by all this? Well, good writing is a tricky thing to define. There’s really no one ‘right’ way of writing that will suit all purposes and audiences – context is the key thing here. Sometimes the text needs to get ideas or instructions across in the simplest possible way, possibly for an audiences of mixed ages and levels of English comprehension. Shorter sentences, simpler words and a degree of repetition will all help to ensure that the message gets across clearly, as in the following example:

“Fred and Sylvia ran an animal shelter. Sometimes, people would bring dogs to them, saying ‘We didn’t know how much attention he would need’ and Fred and Sylvia would smile sadly and wonder, ‘How can we explain this to people before they buy a pet?’. One day, their daughter Julie, who was a teacher, suggested ‘Why don’t we write a story for me to read to my class?’.
‘A story about one of our dogs?’ asked Sylvia.
‘Well, maybe,’ said Julie, ‘but a story about a dog might just make the children want one even more. I was thinking about telling the story from the point of view of a child who wants to watch TV or play on the computer but the dog needs to be walked and washed.’
Fred frowned. ‘I think the little tyke should just walk the dog.’ He said.
‘Of course you do.’ replied Julie. ‘That’s what you would have done as a child. But now you’re trying to communicate with people who aren’t like you, so you need to speak to them in their own language, about the things that matter to them.’
‘And telling a story is the best way to get through to children.’ said Sylvia.
‘It’s certainly a good way – and not just to children. Throughout history, people have used stories as a means of teaching and influencing others. We remember parables and fables and, crucially, we remember their messages…don’t cry wolf, kindness will be rewarded…you know the sort of thing. If you can come up with a story which strikes a chord with your audience – if they can see themselves in that situation, then there’s a better chance that they will take your lesson to heart.’”

Sometimes, a relaxed and chatty style is more appropriate for the particular audience and aims of the text. Modern marketing materials have become significantly less formal than they once were. The intention now is often to speak to the potential customer like a friend, chatting about the product or service and throwing in little jokes or cultural references to make the whole communication feel less like a hard sell. Indeed, many business are trying to introduce a touch of humour into their brand image, often with excellent results but there are pitfalls to watch out for.

Using humour can get a product or idea noticed but it’s important to be noticed for the right reasons…what sounds hilarious to one person may be deeply offensive to another. Humour will often have some form of recognisable target, so it’s important to consider how your jokes will be interpreted by other individuals or groups. It’s probably OK to advertise a reptile shop with a reference to Cleopatra. More recent historical allusions should be treated with caution.

That’s not to say that being deliberately provocative can’t get results – the ad campaigns that have been vilified in the twitterverse have reached a far wider audience as a result and a certain proportion of that audience will be more sympathetic to the advertiser than to the critics. It goes without saying that this is a risky strategy…a bit like blowing up a pond to catch fish – it’s generally destructive, you might end up getting burned and you’ll definitely create a stink.

It’s also vital to be certain that a joke will be understood. Sometimes, when we’re too close to a subject, we forget that not everyone grasps the issues or understands the jargon. That in-joke about the number of thingamajigs needed to reposition a what-do-you-call-it may be perfect for a presentation to a group of industry experts. A more general audience may wonder if we’re not the brightest bulbs in the drawer…did I mention that it’s also important not to mix one’s metaphors?

Whilst formal writing is falling out of vogue in many areas of life, there is still a place for it. Whether in academic papers, financial reporting or a host of other contexts in which serious ideas must be explained in a serious way, some pieces of writing are all about the facts, which must be presented in a way that guarantees maximum clarity…although, of course, when it comes to the fields of financial reporting and politics, there are those who have turned writing for minimum clarity and maximum obfuscation into something of an art form. Nonetheless, formal report style is still needed in some walks of life so, if this is something that you will require from a copywriter, make sure that they will be able to produce something suitable, along the lines of this:

“The world wide web is currently made up of over 1.4 billion websites⁽¹⁾, with approximately 4.8 billion indexed web pages⁽²⁾. Of the identified websites, a large and currently growing proportion are inactive. The Netcraft October 2016 Web Server Survey⁽¹⁾ shows only 12.4% of sites returning content indicative of an active website, as opposed to a place-holder page or other computer generated content⁽³⁾. Crucially, the data also shows that the actual number of active sites has remained relatively constant since 2011, whilst the overall number of websites has trebled in that period from under half a billion to the current levels.